By Dr. Nitza Alvarez, MD, FACC for NITZAMD
There is an old, dangerous type of paternalistic clinical arrogance that assumes a piece of paper or a medical textbook knows more about a body than the woman currently living inside it. We see this play out constantly in cardiology, but for many women, the introduction to this systemic dismissiveness begins much earlier—during pregnancy.
After learning to stand up for herself at age 18, Deb Williams found herself facing the exact same pattern of clinical gaslighting years later when she became pregnant. This time, the stakes involved her unborn children.
“Are You Sure There’s Only One?”
During her pregnancy, Deb knew deep in her gut that something was unique. Inside her womb, she could feel an overwhelming amount of distinct, chaotic activity. It felt like two separate babies were kicking, flipping, and performing acrobatics. The physical pressure was so intense that she found it completely impossible to sit comfortably.
Trusting her physical experience, Deb explicitly questioned her obstetric group during multiple prenatal visits, asking point-blank: “Are you sure it’s just one baby?”
Rather than validating her questions or performing an updated assessment, the attending physician grew visibly angry. He snapped at her, saying, “You’ve had miscarriages before. You think you know everything. You’re having one long, large, normal, healthy baby.” He then slammed her chart shut and walked out of the room.
Dr. Alvarez’s Insight: “Weaponizing a woman’s past pregnancy losses or medical trauma to silence her current physical intuition is a severe form of clinical gaslighting. A patient asking for verification is not a threat to a doctor’s authority—it is a vital component of safe, collaborative prenatal care.”
The Shocking Delivery Room Surprise
Because the medical staff insisted they had the ultimate word, they refused to look any further. They completely stopped assessing for a multiple pregnancy. Deb had to mentally manage her pregnancy based on a doctor’s stubborn, singular diagnosis.
Then came the day of delivery—which happened to fall directly on her husband’s birthday.
Deb delivered her first baby boy normally. But exactly 19 seconds later, to the absolute horror and shock of the medical team, a second baby boy was born breach. The delivery room descended into immediate chaos because the providers were completely unprepared. The gynecologist had to react purely on instinct, literally catching the second baby mid-air before he hit the floor.
The twin boys were born healthy, but the systemic failure was glaring. The delivery wasn’t a surprise to Deb—she had been feeling both of her sons for months. It was only a surprise to the medical staff because their own professional pride prevented them from listening to a mother’s clear warnings.
You Are the CEO of Your Body
Who knows the body better than the person living inside it? If you feel a distinct physical symptom, an unusual heart palpitation, or an overwhelming structural change, your provider’s job is to investigate it thoroughly—not to shut down the conversation because they feel insulted by your questions.
Arrogance in medicine doesn’t just damage the doctor-patient relationship; it actively compromises patient safety. Whether you are navigating a complex pregnancy or seeking an advanced cardiovascular assessment in Central Florida, remember that a medical professional is there to guide and facilitate your care, not to dictate your reality. Never let a provider’s loud authority drown out your body’s quiet truths.